Here's the story:

A few years ago now, I received a package. I opened it: inside was a brand new HAARK album. I was somewhat surprised, being the guy who I thought actually makes HAARK albums, to be holding a new HAARK album (complete with title, artwork, liner notes, the whole deal). I flipped it over - yes, these were definitely my songs (although some of them were mis-titled, while others were mis-spelled). This compilation album was called 'Brutal Ways of the Biomechanic Mutant', and I knew nothing about it until it appeared in my letterbox.

I emptied the package, and found a hand-written note, by a chap in France, saying basically "hey, I love your stuff, I hope you don't mind but I've made a compilation of the most 'accessible' HAARK tracks and have started sending it out to people, hope it's okay".

Being a peaceful, compassionate kinda guy, I didn't become enraged; indeed, it was actually pretty flattering that someone loved my stuff so much they'd make their own compilation and start distributing it. So instead I wrote to the lad, saying (in summary) "hey, gosh, wow, thanks for the interest, you've chosen tracks I wouldn't have chosen, and some of your titles are totally wrong, and some of the right ones are mis-spelled, and in one case you've like totally cut an awesome 17 minute noise-scape epic down to the first 2 minute metal section, but, well, okay, I guess it helps get my stuff out there, so, um, thanks".

He said, "coolies", and went about distributing his 'accessible' compilation. All good so far.

Then I was interviewed for a metal/punk/noise magazine. And in that interview, I mentioned the circumstances in which the 'Brutal Ways of the Biomechanic Mutant' had appeared in my letterbox, and how it had been created without my consent or knowledge, and how it had been full of mistakes, but, well, it was kinda cool still that it existed.

Turns out that the French chap who had made the compilation was friends (or co-workers? can't exactly remember) with the guy who had performed the interview, and he'd read a pre-published version of the interview, and was not happy at all. He wrote to me, asking why I was talking shit about him, slandering him, etc. I told him I wasn't - I was just telling the truth about his unauthorised fan-comp, and how it had been nothing to do with me. He flew into a rage (insofar as I could tell by his emails), threatening me with destroying all copies of 'Biomechanic Mutant', blacklisting me from various music sites, and saying generally bad things about me to all the zines and websites he had access to. I told him that I thought he was taking it all a bit poorly, and told him to do whatever he wanted.

So he did.

Now and then I see copies of 'Brutal Ways of the Biomechanic Mutant' for sale online. Please, don't buy them. I have never made a cent from this, and all the songs (in their proper form and context) are available for free elsewhere.

Thanks for listening
HAARK.